Well a couple days after Christmas, I had enough, and a fight erupted over petty things between us and our extended family...I snapped ended up looking like a stark raving mad lunatic....but I don't care..(I do care that I couldn't say things with the love of Christ, I let my temper flare big time)...At least I think my point is across that I won't be walked on. We will have to agree to disagree...they have physically left, but are still cleaning out their stuff, and pets. Some are gone, but several still remain. In the long run in order to preserve any chance of a relationship it is best for us to not live together. The way we each prefer to live our lives is not compatible under the same roof.
My husband is off this whole week. So we are working today to reclaim our house a little...but not overworking ourselves. Taking it nice and slow. We plan to give each of our kids their own room. I realize, it's hasn't been the easiest year. (I know others have had it alot worse) but between downsizing and relocating from Delaware....living with good friends....finding a place and having to downsize even more....just to move again because of circumstances involving water damage and a not so great landlord...then losing hubby's brother in a violent way....then allowing extended family to stay and all that has entailed....i need to cut us some slack.
My house was called a pig sty several times this week...on social media and to my face so I have turned what was meant to hurt me into something laughable and loveable.....We are affectionately calling our home....Jimmy and Minna's Pig Sty. (Minna was a nickname I was given years ago by a small child who could not say my real name correctly) I intend to even make (or have made) a wooden sign to hang over the door eventually that says just that. (I do actually have a pig now...she was a Christmas gift. We will see how big she gets to determine exactly what we will do with her.
Now with the extra room we will have as family moves out we will make this house a home. I realized with all that happened, we never got a chance to do that completely.
We have gotten really serious about wanting to see how simple we can make things in 2015. I am going to try making even more things at home, like shampoo, deodorant. growing more things and seeing if I have any talent that I could use to make extra money from home. Please feel free to share any tips or pointers you may have. My husband works six days a week most weeks to take care of us, and his job is strenuous and alot of weeks he work 10-20 hours of over time. While this is great and provides alot of things for us, we want to do well with less, so maybe he can find another job that is closer to home or is just a straight 40 hours where he can have at least two days off a week. My kids and I talked we told my husband we would happily give up all the extras like cable, internet, breakfast out and dance class...if it would increase his time with us. He is always too tired to do things..you know worn out from the day. I told him I did not want a new car, furniture,camper or little trips, I wanted time with him. We can make due with what we have. We have taken some steps to do just that. ( I will share more about that after the new year probably)
This thought process was triggered by me getting angry on Christmas day....he was in our room watching tv...I felt like we were not really spending time together...our daughter wanted a toy put together and he seemed grumpy about helping....so I snapped at him too...and I thought about it and was like I really don't want to be married anymore...I even told him that after family moved out I would just share a room with our daughter. I prayed that night alot....we did get past our angry moment after a few hours, but the next day I realized it isn't my husband that I don't want. It's that he is always tired (I guess from work.) I sometimes feel like a I am married but a single parent if that makes any sense at all. The next day when he went to work it dawned on me I just want him to be a more active part of our lives, and if his job is taking him so much out of him then maybe we need to pray about how to change. We will see where this journey and prayer takes us.
I probably won't get another post in this week. Hubs and I are going on a date with money we got from Mom Mom and Pop Pop for Christmas. He is paying for lunch, I am taking him to a movie. We haven't been on a date since the summer. With everything going on I certainly have not attempted to have a date night at home either.
Do you have any new plans on the horizon...anything special you are praying for. "SEE" you in the New Year!!!!
MJ, I just found your blog and wanted to leave you a few words of wisdom from an old mom to eight young'uns. (Ranging in age from 46 to 15) It sounds as if your husband is pulling double-duty to take care of his little family and for that I really give him credit. Is there any way the two of you could sit down (Quietly with no young'uns around) and go over ALL your bills to see what cuts could be made? If this is possible with prayer and lots of WORK maybe you could find ways to cut out things that aren't 100% necessary for your home and therefore he could cut his hours at work. One of the first places I tell young families to cut back is in their food budget. As groceries get higher & higher this is hard to do but making a menu and STICKING TO IT, you'll be surprised how good you'll eat and how much money you'll save. As Mom to eight I've had to live on a very tight budget but if can do it, you can too. The main thing is to work together. If I can ever be of any help, please feel free to email me (cartersherry58@yahoo.com) and I'll be glad to tell you how we've made it through some very lean years. Hug, Sher
ReplyDeleteThank you Sher, I appreciate the information and the option to contact you. I am sure I will do just that. I may need some advice very soon. It is a good idea for us to sit down alone and go over things. I will have to work to arrange that. Things are just a disaster right now. I ended up with a kidney infection and not feeling good...but I will arrange that talk with him. I definitely do need advice on how to eat well and spend less.
ReplyDeleteHi there! I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for the hard time you are going through. I do think you guys are doing some great things to make some lasting changes for you family. How great this year will become for you and your family, as you make new goals together. I am cheering you on!
ReplyDeleteDanielle, I am humbled that you stopped by..(I don't know if you will see this)..let me tell you why....here is a blurb from my very first post a little less than two years ago " So recently i discovered the Blissful and Domestic blog at www.blissfulanddomestic.com, and I discovered some new tips. I was frantically searching for information on how to cut my family's costs after my husband lost our only decent source of income because there were no working hours. Then he got a job driving for a towing company and the pay was so slow, and I was a stay at home mom with no income. So I have purchased the book featured on that blog, "America's Cheapest Family" gets your right on the money by Steve and Annette Economides. I plan to read that and share anything I learn here....."
ReplyDeleteI have learned alot from you, and some of the resources you have shared....thank you. I still have alot to learn...while there has been alot of changes and some improvement over the past almost two years....I have alot to learn.
Yours was the very first blog I ever found or read....it came up in a yahoo search when i was frantically searching for ways to reduce our expenses when my hubby lost his "good job"
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