One day at a Time

We are surviving.  Last weekend I came down with some really nasty virus and I could not get even off the couch.  It was a tough weekend to be sick and alone other than my two kids of course.  I wanted adult interaction so badly.  It was an experience.  Whatever it was most of the people I was around seem to have experienced similar symptoms, except my kids thankfully!  It was such an emotional weekend but also an eye opener.

I don't know what I have been waiting for, someone to save me I guess.  I want things that are never going to happen. I stopped waiting for someone else to care or provide, don't get me wrong, I love the support I get from you guys, and I do have a couple of friends in my actual life.  What I mean though is I stopped waiting for someone to want to come along and help me, I realized in reality I may not have anyone in my life that I can physically see and touch other than my kids, but I know God hears me.  I got up when I finally could on Monday.  I went to the laundromat.  I spent the day applying for jobs, and I don't remember when but there was a day that I applied for a job I just wasn't sure I would qualify for, and the hours don't really fit with my life needs, but you know what I got it.  I am finding a network of rewards, and a couple of reliable people to help me out with the kids and this is going to work.

My ex for the very first time in a long time after I sent a quiet but very firm hopefully eye opening text to him sent a little support our way.  My tire is now fixed, the kids got a thing or two, and well now I think I need to replace my washer.   It broke while I was sick.  We have this week been rearranging furniture.  I sold two of our reptiles and that netted some extra funds that will now be used get me to work!

I looked through my closet and I have enough professional type clothing to mix and match for a weeks worth of items.  These last two years have really royally sucked.  I learned so much about the world, and men.  Men that are in the world are wild beyond anything I ever knew existed.  They are into things that in my sheltered life I had never experienced.  They make empty promises, tell you they want marriage when they have a woman sitting at home.  This lady is not dating anymore.  It's just unreal and a joke.  I also spent the week getting rid of bad memories.  Throwing out old pictures belongings.  Photos from my marriage and when the kids were born will be remade into something for their baby and memory books.

It is just seriously time to move on and start moving forward it's like I have just been sitting here waiting for something to happen.  Looking for fixes to problems in the wrong places.  Well here my friends is to new beginning, old flames dying, and to doing things we never thought we could!