Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Life Unscripted-that moment

When you come home to a Sheriff's  notice on your door that not one but two (yes I said two) child predators moved into your little neighborhood just a couple houses down.  Needless to say we are making sure all doors and windows are locked and our dog will not be sleeping in her crate anymore. She will have free roam of the house because she will alert us to any nonsense.  

I survived a child hood filled with unpleasant memories of being molested.  Circumstances were different for me it was someone in the family I grew up with that hurt me, not an outsider, but I still suffer the after effects of such an experience.  A touch that is correct in my grown up relationship with my husband can bring a flashback of an inappropriate one when I was a child and ruin a moment or change an intimate relationship with my spouse.  It is difficult for me to trust most men around my kids.   

I know these people may never approach my children, but we will be sleeping with doors, and windows locked, the kids won't be allowed to walk to a friends, or play outside without a trusted adult escort even though our yard is fenced in. I am considering black out curtains for each room.  I may be overreacting and overprotective, but my kids are worth it.  I will do all I can to keep my and all other kids from that type of harm.

So here is MJ's PSA of sorts....please know who is around your children.  Know who you are leaving your kids with.  Have a safety talk with your kids.  Ask them if someone has done anything to make them uncomfortable.  I told my kids that their "parts" are their "parts" and that no adult or even other child should ask to see theirs or show them pictures or things of that sort.  I have told my kids to please tell me if anyone ever makes them uncomfortable or does something like that no matter how much they think I trust or care for the person that may be bothering them.  To allow no threat that someone may make against them or us to keep them from telling me about such an event.

Please if your kid comes to you about something like this, don't ask them to lie and cover up what someone has done to them.  Stand up for them and don't choose an abuser over your child.. It won't be easy.  Things may change, moves may have to be made.  It will hurt.  Stand up for your kid.  Let them know you love them.  Protect them.  When what I was experiencing as a child came to light, my "parents" at the time asked me to go tell the detective I had lied to get attention.  I did what they asked because I was a kid, and they were who I lived with, I trusted them.  They didn't protect me.  I hope you never have to face something like that but if you do, make the right but difficult choices.  Your children are worth it.


  1. Do whatever you need to do to be comfortable with your kid's safety. If you are overthinking and over protecting so be it. You are your children's first line of defense and their primary advocate, and what you think is best for you/them in this case is.

    I am sorry you are living with life's scars. You are brave to talk about it. I would find out exactly what charges were filed against the people who moved close to you and even have the scary but necessary talk with your children about what is and is not appropriate.

  2. I am so sorry MJ.. No child should ever have to go through these things.. My heart and prayers to you. And I so agree, I would be protecting my kids too.. Never feel you are over reacting. You are doing exactly as you should..
    So many children are being hurt and by their own families....
    Sending prayers that this person that moved into your neighborhood, will be gone ..SOON!!! hugs.

  3. Every child deserves to be safe in their own home environment. You are a good mama to go the extra mile to keep your children safe and protect their innocence. I'm sorry you didn't have that as a child, but you are so blessed with your own loving family now. On a lighter note, it's good to see a post. I check every day. I hope all the job situations are going well and you guys are having better, happier, less stressful times now. Wishing you and your family the best!

  4. Sorry you had to experience abuse as a child and then be further traumatized by your parents. You are doing all the right things for your children.

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