Thursday, August 29, 2013

An interesting evening.

For the first time in this house, I feel heard.  My husband suddenly was helpful tonight when he realized I was overwhelmed with getting ready for some last minute activities that we have decided to do for the Labor Day weekend.   He helped cook dinner (spaghetti) and here he is later

coming in saying he wants to make banana bread when i was about to make some.  (He has never ever done that in 15 years of marriage)  He has helped with dinner before but it is few and far in between.  All i can say is all the prayers are being heard and answered.  I was feeling pretty desperate late last week and earlier this week, but trying to perservere and surrender my right to be appreciated etc.  Tonight was a nice surprising break.  The hubs even folded two loads of laundry and got his own clothes out for our event this weekend ( I am usually the one who gets them or I have to nag and nag to get action)  What a refreshing concept in this house. Working together.  Without anger or nagging to get it....It had to be God.  That is all i can say.

Here is the finished banana bread

It is so moist and delicious!!!!  We used a recipe from a Taste of Home Cookbook my grandmother bought me for Christmas a couple years ago.  In organizing the laundry room, I found it and put it up on the shelf in the kitchen so I could actually use it (imagine that actually using something I

If interested here is the recipe.  

Special Banana Nut Bread
3/4 cup butter softened
8 oz package of cream cheese softened
2 cups sugar
2 eggs
4 medium bananas (i threw in six because i had some that were going bad)
1 TBSP of vanilla
3 cups all purpose flour
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt

We threw it all in a bowl, the Hubs mixed it with our beaters, and we poured it into a greased large cake pan (i don't own any loaf pans) and baked in a preheated oven at 350 for 45 minutes.  Very Yum!

So we are gearing up for one final (unplanned) summer event before my son goes back to school.  It was a last minute idea by the Hubs to go camping, and he found a local campground (from having to do a tow call there) that has a pool and is not much more than our state park we went to a few weeks ago.  So we can go together as a family but be close enough to work (because hubs is always on call and cannot stray far from his "home" area and I do have to work the office this holiday weekend)  
So in order to go camping this time, we needed to pick up some gear.  We went to Sears and were prepared to pay sticker price for an instant tent and a screen house....instead surprise surprise when we got to the register, our cost was 50.00 less than sticker price.  Apparently there was an unadvertised we got an air matress also with the money we saved.  

Yesterday was our day off and it was to my surprise super productive, we cleaned out our car....which despite my best efforts to clean out over the past couple weeks....we still pulled out two shopping bag fulls of trash, and three baskets and two small bags of things that had to be brought in and gone through.  No more stuff in the car.  Whatever we take in it in the morning has to come out in the afternoon when we get home.  Oy!  Hubs also stopped to a gas station and vacuumed it out.  We have been struggling with seeing new cars and know we cannot afford one, so we are taking steps to clean up one of the ones we own.  The truck is still in need of repair, we found a shop that gives free estimates, but we need to get it towed there.  (we are not paying our boss to tow it.)  One thing at a time right? 

So did you have any pleasant surprises this week.  Any saving of money this week?  I will have to let you guys know how our budget plan is going soon.  Thanks for stopping by!!!!!

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Pitty Party

So I think I am finally over myself from last Fridays issues and being angry...Sunday Aunti P invited me to go bowling and we took our kids together, it was just 2.00 per game and I had my own shoes so we saved some funds there.  It was a  good time and a bit of a distraction from the things I was feeling.

To my surprise, I have not quit my job...I am still here....there is a time clock in the office now so there is no discrepancies with the time I am to get paid for.  I still have not gotten Fridays paycheck but each day it is promised to be delivered.  During the last 4 days though, I have unfortunately been throwing myself a pity party been angry at the world and rebellious and done nothing like a two year old I guess. My sinks are no longer shiny and I let chaos reign for the last couple of days.  The only thing I did do was a load of laundry a day.  I vegged out like everyone else and just did what I wanted.  I know not the right heart attitude.    I did give away some clutter though, I posted the stuff I wanted to yard sale on a Facebook online local site and gave it all away for free.  Until we get the truck fixed, and I get my work time managed better, I don't have time to yardsales on a Saturday and the only other day I have is Wednesdays and I don't know how effective that would be. 
So I gave away a car seat, two small tvs for recycling, and three very large bags of clothing and shoes.  So the huge pile of junk in my office is starting diminish.  I also gave away the posters I had for math from when I homeschooled.

So tomorrow is our day off.  The last Wednesday before school starts that we will all be together as a family.  I know we have errands to run.  The hubs has new glasses to pick up at Sears, they had a 2 for 99.00 special.  We tried to get him a discounted pair online before but they just didn't get the script right.  So we are also picking up my prescription on the way and I will be ordering the special and getting two new pairs of glasses too!!!  I like something with a little flair, I hope I can find something.  I also know we will be going to my son's open house at school.  Thanks for stopping by.  I hope each of you are able to handle your emotions better than I did. 

Starting over tonight, and shining my sinks, and playing catch up after my tantrum.

So I am feeling better pitty part is over. and hopefully things will get back on track.  I was just so mad, I didn't want to do anything at all.  Was ready to throw in the towel, Crazy right

Saturday, August 24, 2013

my hurt

So there was another episode at work yesterday.  And it has left me wondering if this is what I am really supposed to be doing with my time and with my kids.  I was a stay at home mom before and I will admit I have not always completely appreciated it, and I also had a best friend and unfortunately I let my friendship with her I guess be kind of like an idol in my life, I did whatever she wanted when she wanted, (my kids were always with me though I didn't neglect them or anything) but I did neglect my home.  because she was my best friend I did whatever she wanted when she wanted, and it was usually at her place or an activity she wanted to do.  I mean my husband was supportive never angry, he was happy that I was getting out of the house, taking the kids to do things, and sometimes my best friend and I got a lot of  things done together.  Then she went through what I guess is some kind of midlife crisis and threw her husband out and stopped doing anything she was supposed to for her family.  And she began lying to me, so we don't talk much anymore.  And when I started working I think it became clear that our relationship was about her mostly and the things she wanted to do, she was angry that I was not available for her anymore.  I was disrupting her social life she said. I think I had let myself be really walked on by her. 

Anyway so while I had stayed at home before I didn't really always take care of my home etc, I tried to do whatever everyone needed...everyone was always like well she just stays home what does she do, she should be able to do whatever we want her to do, and I really wanted to please and be there for others, but I left my family responsibilities fall to the wayside.  I started working because my husband had lost his job which was our source of steady income, and when he got this new job, the pay was slow in the off season.  When the office girl quit, I was offered the job that I have now, and told I could bring my children.  We thought it was an answered prayer.  We had been unable to pay our rent for a couple months, and with this job, I got to take the of both worlds right I still get to take care of the kids and make some extra money.  It was April that I started this job.  And it first I worked 7 days a week, it was tough but I took the kids so no one was neglected .  I took the work phone home and even worked from home when I had too.  Eventually I got two days a week off.  My husband only gets one and actually it is not a whole day it's more like 12 hours on a Wednesday.  We have been working to make the best of it.  I am not saying my husband is out of the house 24/7 but he is on call which means he has to be home with his cell phone and tow truck in case he gets a call. 

Current events at work brings me to two week ago...maybe three when my family took the camping trip.  I actually took the whole week off, they needed me to cover, but my husband said no, I needed time off so he covered for me.  Well during that time, we were accused of stealing a soda.  There were cases of soda sitting in the office and one day one bottle just sprang a was so weird.  Anyway my boss said we were stealing...(seriously one soda) anyway we offered to pay the 1.50 for the soda for the freak accident.  And my husband told my boss to take all the sodas with him if he felt that way about the whole incident.  So my boss came and took all the sodas, and while he was here he took 4 hours of paid time away from me.  He said he had came by one day and the office was locked up before 3.  I told him there was no way.  That I had only left early on a Tuesday for a doctors appointment which they knew about and I did not put down to get paid for that time.  So he took four hours off my paycheck.  I was angry and hurt that he made all these implications...he talked down to and belittled me. He also made it very clear I would not longer receive compensation for errand running for him, or time spent working at home unless I was in this office I don't get paid for it.  Fine, I stopped errand running, I don't drop papers off for him on Fridays anymore, and I no longer take the work phone home. 

The next time I saw him he was so nice, he visited, went over the office, made some improvements, bought us all was great. 

Then this week.  I followed his orders, I texted him my hours every day from the office phone which I can only get access to when I am in the office (because I don't take it home anymore)    My husband comes in yesterday afternoon (it was a bad one)  Yesterday I went home at three.  I get a phone call saying I need to go back to work there was a lady waiting to pick up her rental.  Well there was no reservation on the schedule until tomorrow.  But I loaded the kids back in the car, unlocked the fence and began making this ladies rental.  Apparently the owners daughter had moved the reservation on a day I was off to Saturday we don't know why, but she would take not responsibility for her actions or say why she did it, but that it was somehow my fault.  She is an 18 year old kid who had no business participating in her fathers business but she can do no wrong...and I was blamed for this misunderstanding.  that was bad enough.  I went to hook up this ladies rental she wanted a 6*12 trailer  (if you have never tried to lift one they are so so heavy, I have even seen two grown men struggle with lifting one together)  Anyway I have lifted one before though a few times.  So I go to get this lady hooked up and I cant lift the trailer for some reason.  I just couldn't do it yesterday...when we finally get it lifted it wont sit down on her trailer ball for some reason.  So I have her move to a different trailer thinking one was broken...same problem.....It took an hour and a half to get her set up and out of here....she became impatient because of the problems.  I hurt my back lifting the different trailers so many times, and the stupid trailer part fell on my finger and smashed it and I was bleeding everywhere.  I felt embarrassed , incapable, and I was physically hurting as well.  The icing on the cake was some people showed up to have a car released to them and here I am in tears and bleeding, can't get help to get the stupid trailer hooked up and six women are in my office to pick up one car.  My finger was bleeding and hurting so bad that I could not even get the work phone out of my pocket to resolve the impounded car release issue.  And then the lady is still coming in to tell me to quit standing there and get her trailer hooked up...never mind the blood dripping from my hand right. 

So my poor husband finally shows up to help, but by then I had gotten the lady, the trailer, and the impounded car all out of here.  he has no paycheck for me.  My boss had decided after all this time he needs me to do some kind of special paper for him in order to get paid.  I am the only one that has to do this.  What am I supposed to think.  I told Jimmy I texted from work each day my hours.  To me it says he is implying that he does not trust me.  And he is accusing me of still stealing time or something.  So if my boss does not have a paycheck for me today, after all of the crap I have endured, worked hard to go out of my way to get his customers taken care of...we are the only ones now to work this office, my husband and I have agreed that I will quit.  I want to wait till hubs gets his truck fixed because there is stuff here that I need to take home.  We payed for the fridge and microwave here and replaced the stools.  I don't want to give my boss anything for free at this point.  I feel like he is an emotional abuser , like he likes to play games being nice one day and mean the next.  The extra money is nice, we had an epic summer of activities with no guilt.  Bills are paid, a tiny bit of money saved, but we are unsure if it worth the extra bull I am having to deal with. Hubs and I are praying.

I hope everyone had a better ending to their week.

Monday, August 19, 2013

Changing the way I keep my home

So I attempted to create another page for my blog that will allow me to be honest about the way things have been in the house, and share what is changing in my life and in my heart regarding the way I keep my home.  I also wanted share from time to time projects, and ideas that I find or create in order to bless my home.  I couldn't figure out how to create a new page that I could continually post on so I guess I will just continue with my posts as I did before.

The truth is I am not a good housekeeper, I never have been, and I have my list of excuses as to why, emotional baggage, and old scars from growing up and doing alot of the housework and others people housework for them so when I grew up I didn't want to do it anymore.  Ridiculous right, but that has been my mentality.

There have been some recent changes and discoveries in my life that are helping me make some changes, and God is changing my heart as well. One of the websites that has changed the way things are done in this house is   I signed up for her emails, and read the baby steps.  I have only been following along for maybe 2 or 3 weeks but there is a huge difference in the house and in me.  Even her Pamper Mission tips are awesome and they are teaching me to take care of me along the way.  Her philosophies about perfection (see my post about how i feel about perfection here)  and ways of cleaning speak to my personality.  I guess in some ways I am still bouncing around but with a purpose!

Another discovery that changed my life was this blog  The writer behind this blog did a surrender series that you can search for on the site.  This was one God used to bust my heart big time
One of my biggest sources of frustration was feeling unappreciated and a huge source of anger was feeling like I had no help and that I did it all for nothing.  Seeing it from a biblical perspective changed my way of looking at what I felt I had a right to. 

Anyway over the next few weeks I will be posting updates and revealing the changes that are being made but here is the clutter and chaos that have ruled the Toomey house (we have lived in this one for a year)

These are various views of our great room....AKA our living very large and filled with lots of lets say "treasures"

These are pictures of our kitchen and the island or bar area in it......

Laundry area/pantry/guest bathroom area

The office....i know i know its bad....but I now have a plan!!!! I am so excited and can't wait to share updates!!!!  Stay tuned......................................

Sunday, August 18, 2013

made my own Dove Body wash

from a bar of Dove soap!!!!!!

I did some research and I sort of followed the recipe part found here

I let my handsome prince (who needs a hair cut) grate the soap into the pot with two cups of our tap water.  (he loves grating soap now that we have made the homemade laundry detergent)

So what I did was grate a 4 oz bar of the Dove sensitive soap into 2 cups of tap water and I boiled it for 30 minutes on the stove until all the shreds were melted.   Then I let is sit overnight, and honestly it had thickened way before i went to bed, but i wanted to be sure it was set so I did let it set overnight. 

It was really thick so I added 3 tablespoons more of water and mixed it with my beaters (like you would a cake mix)

I loved the consistency, and spooned our mix back into my empty 24 oz bottle of Dove soap that I had bought from the store.  Spooning it into the original bottle was tedious but I did not have another container on hand to store it in the would be easy to use in the shower. 

I did not have an exact measurement but I estimate that I got 18 oz of body wash from a 4 oz bar of soap.  And I bought two bars of Dove soap for 3.27 and I only used one for this recipe.  So basically I got 18 oz of Dove body wash for 1.64.  Works for me.  I could have gotten an even better deal if I had a Dove coupon, but I did not, so I look forward to getting an even better price next time!!!!!!

The recent laundry detergent and body wash making idea came from wanting to see if we as a family could cut our expenses even more for the things I feel we still need to buy in the event that my employment ends, or our hours are reduced because fall and winter are fast approaching.  There was a little drama at work this week and my boss said and did some things that almost caused me to leave the job.  Things have smoothed over now, but my boss is nice one day and not the next.  The highlight of my work week though was a 27.00 tip from a customer just for renting him a Uhaul and helping him save some money...So i am treating the family to dinner tonight!

Did you try anything new this week.  I hope you all have a great start to the new week that is coming!

Friday, August 16, 2013

Friday 5

so I have decided to link up on

and do a Friday 5...I found this linky party on  who i discovered during a Sunday blog hop a couple months ago hosted by

So here are the things I am decidely loving this fine Friday.....

One that is is after 3PM and I am off work...woohooo....

Two....that over the past couple of weeks I have been able to transform  a room in the house from this

to this  

I have been following the FLYLADY at  thanks to an outside view from a follower I was able to realize I was still bouncing around making no progress in anything I was trying to I have almost completely organized one small part of the is definitely decluttered now at least. (((( (and my sink has been shiny for almost two weeks now))))) This room had alot of detail work that needed to be done I will post about the whole transformation later this week.

Three is this awesome smelling stuff

I discovered it on our Rhode Island trip when we stayed with Aunti P at the Providence Marriot....this is the stuff the hotel gives out every day when room service comes....I love the smell.  It really is truly an energizing smell.....It retails at Bath and Body Works for 13.00 and doesn't appear to be included in the usual sales, so I have not sprung for a bottle yet, but believe me it's going on my gift list for the hubs for Christmas or Birthday ideas for me....because I love it!!!  I have 3 to 4 of the trial sized bottles from the hotel since Aunti P said she was stocked from previous trips!!!!!

Four is the smell of this homemade laundry detergent I had the kids help me make today at work (I am slowly learning to manage my time better through time blocking which i discovered at
it is just really working for me when I use it)  Anyway we had some down time and we took out all the ingredients and made it on the picnic table

this is part of the smells soooo great i can't wait to use it but i still have a little store bought liquid left to use up is the recipe I followed
although I omitted the Oxi Clean

And last but not least number five:

I am completely crushing on this picture taken of my son during our trip when we celebrated his birthday  in Rhode Island....I am not the best photographer, but I really think this picture of him properly cropped will look great on the wall and I will have taken it myself.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

what to do with Gift bags after your childs birthday party

Alot of times when you have a childs birthday party friends/family go the extra mile to buy special birthday bags or cards with special characters on them that your child really likes.  I know alot of people reuse the bags to give gifts at other parties or toss them out, but here is an alternative idea that I had after my daughters 2nd birthday last year.......

For Christmas this past year (her birthday was in November) I purchased large frame from the thrift store (i paid like 4 bucks for it) and i cleaned it up.....we cut out my daughters favorite characters from the gift bags, and i cut a piece of wrapping paper to fit the backing of the frame.  Then we took the characters we cut out and layed them out in the frame of wrapping paper...My son also picked the Minnie Mouse ribbon from a craft store and you can see it running up the sides of the frame.  We put in a couple family pictures and a sweet saying from my scrapbooking supplies and Viola!......My daughter also got some princess stickers for her birthday that I let my son and one of his friends space around the pictures so that would really get used.  This project ended up being a Christmas gift to my daughter from her brother.  It was perfect.  I used the 3M command strips to hang them.  I bought the ones that hold up to 16 pds....and for my area, they are cheaper to purchase at Michaels with one of their 40 percent off coupons...then they are at Walmart.  My daughter got a handmade one of a kind special piece of art that she will treasure for years to come!

Monday, August 12, 2013

some camping pics

I didn't really get to take that many....or at least not all of the ones I wanted.  I wanted to take some on the boat rides we took, but I had forgotten my camera and it's a bigger one and i didn't want it to get wet if we did not know what we were doing, I do not own a smart phone or a cell phone that you can take pictures.....just a really basic free one that you can just talk on (can you imagine

So the first night it was just me and the kids, and they were so anxious to do camping type activities, but I didn't really know for sure how to start a camp fire, it was too late to ride bikes, and at first I was unsure if I would be able to set up the fishing poles.  We cooked Spam over the camp fire.....It was a pathetic camp fire but it got the job done.

We were even able to make smores with it. 

The next day...daddy came, he fixed the problem I had with the fishing poles, and my son caught a turtle.

he caught it on the fishing pole, but this pic was snapped after Pop Pop Mike (who we don't get to see enough) took it off the hook.

Mr. B let us use his camper (we usually use it once a year it's his happy birthday present to my son)  and the tent is what our close family friend slept in....she could have stayed in the camper but she wanted an authentic as possible camping experience.

Over all it was a long but a good week.  Unless daddy can go the whole time from now on we will stick to just a weekend deal I think. 

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Busy Busy week......

I will share some pics later.....right now I desperately need a shower, but I have been busy lately and not updated.  Well I went camping for an official whole week...and we packed alot into that ended up feeling really long....and I am tired and dirty now.

It was just me and the kids camping the first was pathetic....we struggled camping on our own....i tried to rig up fishing lines and it only lasted for half an hour because turns out i made a slight mistake that my husband corrected the next day....My son caught a fish and a turtle though, that was interesting.  My nephew who is 22 and lives in Florida came to visit so we spent a day with him and his dad...and we all went to a monday night baseball game.  It was $2.00 night at the ball field for admission hot dogs and even after we payed for 7 of us to get in and bought ice cream and dinner we still only spent what we normally would have spent for just the 4 of us to go. 

It rained alot too this week while we were gone, but we still got in some boat and bike rides, ate tons of smores and ice cream (no stepping on the scale for me this week i can only imagine the results....but i am aware of my poor food choices)  We had one night with a bad thunderstorm and my son got a little scared.  We also got the family dog spayed for just 20.00 this week.  I went through our local department of ag for a certificate and discovered a wonderful new vets office.  My husband camped with us two nights....A close family friend stayed 3 nights, and it was just me and the kids 2 nights.  Last night since it was raining we visited a bowling alley near the camp ground and that was alot of fun.  We also squeezed in a visit with my grandmother and my Uncle.

 Let me just say I am happy to be home.  It was a busy action packed week that has left me in need of a nap :)  I am off to clean up now.....Even though I had to pack and unpack everything it wasn't soo bad this time, i learned to do a little at a time so it did  not feel so overwhelming.  So that was my progress for the week.  I suppose tomorrow it's back to normal domestic things......What did you do this week?

Friday, August 2, 2013

My first Flying Lesson


This one is for you Shelley :)  I actually have two kitchen sinks....I started with the small one only......

I know gross right.......but in an effort to take given advice I am trying to focus on one thing at a time, and stop bouncing around because that is why I never get anything done. (hubs has said this for years)  Anyway This weeks project still has been mainly focused on the laundry room/pantry guest bathroom area.  Who knew it could take so long to organize and clean an area........I don't know if I will even finish it this week.  But in my defense I worked 10 hours today.....It was a long day.  Anyway while I was doing a little more work on this weeks project....i looked up the flylady's website and I signed up for her email feed, and I am took my first "flying" SHINY SINK 101

I followed her instructions that you can find on the link above.  I did not have comet or I did use baking soda....and I aso dont have windex so I used my vinegar spray that I would clean windows with.....and here is the finished results

The sink itself looks great right!!!! (Ignore the junk around it....I have not gotten to cleaning that yet....Hopefully I can work on that when we get back from camping.)..I hope to get the present part of the house I am working on done tomorrow night maybe...but I do have to get ready for our camping too..(how many hours are there in a day)...Anyway......that's it.....for today.....One day and one step at a time.  If I can overcome these years of chaos we have created...I know you can to....much thanks to the Fly Lady for her site!!!!!  And to my awesome followers and their comments!!!!