But not in the same typical way it might be for some other perfectionists.....I am overweight, very lazy and undisciplined, I hope to get on a serious journey and allow God to work in me, but these are issues that i have that rule in my life.
Here is where perfection plays in. When i try to achieve something or complete something or just do anything at all i have this picture of what it would look like if it was perfect. Well needless to say my end product never lives up to the picture I have in my head of how it should be. So i get very discouraged, so much that it cripples me in any attempts to do anything at all.
For example I really want to take pictures... but I know someone or a couple people who take them and they have this natural talent and their pictures or programs they use to edit them make them look gorgeous. I could never achieve that because my camera is different from theirs and i can't afford an editing program so I just don't take pictures. I also don't have all the knowledge they have so it would take me alot of learning and I often don't know where to begin.
I did have a break through in this department a little during Christmas this past year though, A friend of mine and I decided to make photo wreaths for our families, we got an idea on pinterest and i tried to follow it ....i used the idea on pinterest and tried to follow the steps of the one posted and make mine identical, and my first attempt was an epic fail. I became really angry. I couldn't fit into someone elses template. It took me some time to think about the idea, and I just couldn't follow the template. I took the pinterest idea, and adapted to fit me, my personality, and the materials i had available to me (budget was tight as always) ..it did not look like the original idea I had in mind but it worked and gifts i were afraid family wouldn't like because they were just done on cardboard with ribbon and pretty paper ended up being the best Christmas gift we had ever given to our families.. I still have one left maybe i can post a picture later when i figure out how. The point is...I learned that what i do probably won't look like what you do...even if it is the same project. That is ok. It's ok to take an idea or a project and make it your own. I don't know why in life i never knew it was ok to just be me and I am learning to embrace my abilities, and learning what my talents are, and if i don't know how to do it, there are resources out there that will enable me to learn new things. How many of us really sit around thinking well i don't know anything about that so we sit in the dark refusing to budge and break out and try something we don't know how to do.....or are we embarrassed to admit we don't know how to do something or we simply don't want to learn because it's just too difficult. I am planning some upcoming projects that will help me break out of this I hope. Hopefully i will be posting about them soon.