Thursday, October 30, 2014

Life Unscripted

I guess if life came scripted it would be predictable and boring right?

Today is Thursday October 30th, and well the week has been interesting, my daughter needed a visit to see the doctor for a pretty nasty ear infection that was causing her to cry and scream at bed time.  I only by God's grace discovered this morning that we met our financial goal, I can pay the current rent, old landlord etc, and still have a few bucks left over.  This is so the Lord's provision.  We have had unexpected prescriptions and doctor's appointments, another unexpected 80.00 bill automatically deducted from my checking account, and my husband's paycheck was short 180.00.  ( His employer is working on fixing it but as of yesterday morning, I was 150.00 short of being able to pay everything.)  Yesterday morning I resolved not to worry about it and simply prayed and admitted that I am at the end of me, worrying all month did nothing.  I told myself I really don't care anymore...That there are worse things, that i would just go to each person I needed to pay with what I had.

To my surprise, I got a final paycheck from my previous employer, and it was more than expected.  To my unpleasant surprise this morning I discovered that my big dog had an accident in her crate, it was just urine but wow was it smelly so I have been mopping and cleaning a crate this morning.  Contemplating doing the dishes (again) I hate doing dishes.  I have become exhausted and overextended this week trying to take care of everyone and working on my own to prepare meals for 11 people.  Now some of you do this everyday and you don't bat an eye, and I say wow to you, keep up the great work.  I told both my nephew and his wife this morning, that I am taking the next couple days "off" so to speak.  I am not cooking.

My husband and I may sneak away with our kids tonight and eat a little Caesar's pizza at the park or something...and tomorrow if the fall festival doesn't have food, then we are doing .50 corn dogs at Sonic....that is their special for Halloween.  I will take our own bottled water and we can eat dinner away for 1.50. (((SHHHH I AM GOING TO BE WASTEFUL)))))))

I did do some thinking and reflecting as well, and my husband and I did some more talking this morning.....I said I think it was a mistake to take in our nephew and his family, that while we were working to live within our means, that is all that we have, is enough for us to live within what we have (and as alot of you who live like that you know it takes work, and sacrifice) and we took on another family and we just are not able to support them.  We are only a little more than a year into really looking at what living within our means is exactly for us.  We were not strong enough to do this.  Looking back over the years though, we always want to help someone and play rescue ranger and I think we have to stop.  Whether it is taking in homeless or financial struggling people in or lives or animals.  We have to stop saying yes. 

We also talked a little about money, and he says that despite what living within our means with his income only means we have to do or not do....he is happy that I am home.  He says when I went back to work, he learned he needs me here.  I make a difference.  That is nice to hear, and I will have to come back and read this on a day I struggle with depression and think I don't make a difference.

So if you are struggling thinking life is difficult or mundane, or too full of surprises, what you are doing does make a difference.  You are important to the people in your life.  You are important to me.  Just an encouraging thought.......and a nice warm fuzzy....


  1. i just found you....and i was so sucked in by your writing that i had to start all the way back at the beginning of your blog to find out more!

    i have been really deeply touched by your words - by you...i am amazed at how honest and open you are! i wouldnt have the courage to put it all out there like you do! but thank you for sharing so much - it's deep!! and i think you are so generous in sharing your home but you have to put you and your family first!!! especially when it sounds like maybe they arent helping so much!!! if someone was letting me stay with them, i would be washing dishes, doing any chores i could and whatever else to help out in appreciation....

    another thing - as i read through your blog, i feel you are so hard on yourself sometimes!!! my goodness girl, i just want to reach out and give you a giant hug!!!

    take care of you!! and yours!!! and then let all the other stuff fit if it isnt taking away from you and yours and only then!!!

    much love to you!

  2. I agree with Luv, you are much to hard on yourself. Sometimes the kindest gift you can give to someone you love is a gentle nudge. It is not unfair for you and your husband to sit down with your nephew and let him know things are just not working as they are. It is fine for you to have some SET house rules concerning household responsibilities, acceptable behaviors and upkeep. If your rules are unacceptable then it is time for a change. As long as you are fair and offer enough time and a SET amount of time it is also ok to tell them they need to make other living arrangements.

  3. Luv, I just wanted to say welcome and thank you for following along....I am glad you enjoy what I share.....I can't believe you read from the beginning...that is amazing. I am thrilled to "meet you." Hugs to you. I am trying to take care of our family...figuring out what steps to take to do that sometimes can be hard.

    Anne, I have heard sometimes that I am being too hard on myself...but sometimes I honestly feel like I am not being hard enough....probably some left over residue from some issue i dealt with growing up or something....Ladies I appreciate the advise and will absolutely take it into consideration.....