Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Life Unscripted.

Today is Tuesday 11/25/14 at 1:30 I am eating Spaghettio's and my two kids are having ramen noodles for lunch.  Our outside dog was neutered yesterday and seems to be doing well, but we have him crated in the shed to promote healing so he can't play with the other dogs etc.  My son has just come in from walking him for me.

I am reflecting on this mornings events.  Wondering what is in store the next couple of days.    Sometimes wishing I had a screenplay to read to know how the next couple days will go.  I was up earlier then I planned to be since the kids don't have school this week, but I though what the heck, I will get some yard work done.  So i went out picked up some trash, took care of the puppy in the shed, and fed my other dogs.  I then scraped out some trash from under the decks and tried to fill in some holes under them.

I decide to take a break.  There is some figthting between my nephew and his wife over transportation to her doctor's appointment, but after his wife started yelling and slamming doors last night, I told her husbad that I will no longer lend her my car she can't throw a temper tantrum one minute and ask me to help her the next.  Beyond that she does not have a valid driver's license, and my husband for this reason does not want her driving my car anymore (and there have been a couple times I have let her do it anyway knowing he did not want her to.)  I also do not have the gas for her to use the car, and I am unsure what their financial situation is, as my nephew has not offered rent yet, or the car insurance for his vehicle.  (my other mistake titling their vehicle to me and tagging it (they paid for it though) so that they could have a legal vehicle.) 

I stayed to myself while inside the house, because I could tell my nephew's wife was upset.  My husband calls to talk to me about the tough morning he had.  I hear a crash and somehow the dish drainer ended up on the floor while my nephew's wife was doing dishes.  I noticed the new bowls I got from my son's fundraiser were among broken items.  I was a little disappointed because my husband suggested I not put them out in the cupboard he was afraid they would get broken.  I felt silly though keeping bowls in my bedroom so I did put them out for household use. She was then yelling at her daughter to get the broom, I asked her to not yell at her daughter, that I left the broom outside so there was no way the little girl could know where to look for it at.  She then became upset because I asked her not to yell at her daughter, I guess she felt I was interfering with her parenting....(my bad) again my good intentions instead leave a path of destruction.  I told her I was just tired of the yelling, that there has been yelling in the house since Saturday.

 My nephew leaves and eventually returns from some appointment he had this morning.  He and his wife were talking about Thanksgiving, originally we had all talked about going to a local restaurant that is hosting a free buffet style meal, and we thought that will be great so no one person has to do everything to prepare a meal for that day.  At first my husband agreed.  Lately though, he has been feeling like he doesn't really want to go anywhere for Thanksgiving, unless it was Pizza Hut or something.....I don't have the money for that.  I misunderstood my nephew's wife, I thought they had said they wanted to decide what to do that they were thinking of doing something aside from what we were doing.  I suggested that they should probably just do something seperate.  My husband kind of doesn't want to go out he thinks the lines will be too long.  There has been alot of tension in the house so maybe we should just do our own thing meal wise.  My nephew's wife then got pretty upset saying that now they had to do something else for Thanksgiving because they weren't welcome here.  I told her that is not what i said.  I never said they couldn't be here.  She was yelling, I yelled back, saying I was tired of the attitude (they have seriously been fighting since Saturday. On Saturday they woke up the whole house at 6am because of their fighting.)  She stomped in and sat two boxes at my feet and says here, here is your birthday gift since we can't spend the day with you.....I told her if it was being given in that spirit I did not want them, she yelled that it was done in love, and I simply said that with her yelling and what not it doesn't sound like it.  After that, the fighting and yelling was just between my nephew and his wife.  Eventually they all left.  She said something about going to a homeless shelter, but I am unsure if she really will, because she left all her pets and most of her things here. 

I told my nephew that my intentions were not to start a fight, just that I simply know my husband's heart desires at this point, I didn't want what we wanted or did not want to do to deter them from doing something nice as a family.  My husband just honestly wants me to go get a Jenni-O turkey loaf from Walmart.  Simple I know....not acceptable to some as a holiday meal, but that is what he wants now.  (we live them)

The house is functional now though, (that is what sparked sunday's fight I guess)  something about my nephew wanting his family to get up and help somehow sparked a blow out I think.  House looks alot better though.  My husband even helped with our room.  While it is not perfect, it is just lived in...not destroyed or anything.  I like "Lived in"  I no longer want perfection.  Just decent functionality.

I want this to be over though, I wish I could make them leave, but in the state of Florida if someone receives mail at your address, even though they are not on your lease, even though someone else owns the property, you cannot ask them to leave, you have to file an official eviction.  (we looked into this the last time we had our huge fight)   Don't get me wrong I love my nephew but I wish we all did not live together.  We have all said and done things now that may not be able to be undone.  So before you let someone stay with you, whether you have good intentions or not, know what the rules are in your state, I will never take in anyone else again.  It does not work for our family.  I guess you also have to make sure you are not just enabling someone to continute in destructive behavior too.  I know reading this our arguments are petty.  We sound like a bunch of high school kids......oh well I .........

1 comment:

  1. I am so sorry MJ. I will be praying your current situation changes drastically.