Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Well a couple days after Christmas, I had enough, and a fight erupted over petty things between us and our extended family...I snapped ended up looking like a stark raving mad lunatic....but I don't care..(I do care that I couldn't say things with the love of Christ, I let my temper flare big time)...At least I think my point is across that I won't be walked on. We will have to agree to disagree...they have physically left, but are still cleaning out their stuff, and pets. Some are gone, but several still remain. In the long run in order to preserve any chance of a relationship it is best for us to not live together. The way we each prefer to live our lives is not compatible under the same roof.
My husband is off this whole week. So we are working today to reclaim our house a little...but not overworking ourselves. Taking it nice and slow. We plan to give each of our kids their own room. I realize, it's hasn't been the easiest year. (I know others have had it alot worse) but between downsizing and relocating from Delaware....living with good friends....finding a place and having to downsize even more....just to move again because of circumstances involving water damage and a not so great landlord...then losing hubby's brother in a violent way....then allowing extended family to stay and all that has entailed....i need to cut us some slack.
My house was called a pig sty several times this week...on social media and to my face so I have turned what was meant to hurt me into something laughable and loveable.....We are affectionately calling our home....Jimmy and Minna's Pig Sty. (Minna was a nickname I was given years ago by a small child who could not say my real name correctly) I intend to even make (or have made) a wooden sign to hang over the door eventually that says just that. (I do actually have a pig now...she was a Christmas gift. We will see how big she gets to determine exactly what we will do with her.
Now with the extra room we will have as family moves out we will make this house a home. I realized with all that happened, we never got a chance to do that completely.
We have gotten really serious about wanting to see how simple we can make things in 2015. I am going to try making even more things at home, like shampoo, deodorant. growing more things and seeing if I have any talent that I could use to make extra money from home. Please feel free to share any tips or pointers you may have. My husband works six days a week most weeks to take care of us, and his job is strenuous and alot of weeks he work 10-20 hours of over time. While this is great and provides alot of things for us, we want to do well with less, so maybe he can find another job that is closer to home or is just a straight 40 hours where he can have at least two days off a week. My kids and I talked we told my husband we would happily give up all the extras like cable, internet, breakfast out and dance class...if it would increase his time with us. He is always too tired to do things..you know worn out from the day. I told him I did not want a new car, furniture,camper or little trips, I wanted time with him. We can make due with what we have. We have taken some steps to do just that. ( I will share more about that after the new year probably)
This thought process was triggered by me getting angry on Christmas day....he was in our room watching tv...I felt like we were not really spending time together...our daughter wanted a toy put together and he seemed grumpy about helping....so I snapped at him too...and I thought about it and was like I really don't want to be married anymore...I even told him that after family moved out I would just share a room with our daughter. I prayed that night alot....we did get past our angry moment after a few hours, but the next day I realized it isn't my husband that I don't want. It's that he is always tired (I guess from work.) I sometimes feel like a I am married but a single parent if that makes any sense at all. The next day when he went to work it dawned on me I just want him to be a more active part of our lives, and if his job is taking him so much out of him then maybe we need to pray about how to change. We will see where this journey and prayer takes us.
I probably won't get another post in this week. Hubs and I are going on a date with money we got from Mom Mom and Pop Pop for Christmas. He is paying for lunch, I am taking him to a movie. We haven't been on a date since the summer. With everything going on I certainly have not attempted to have a date night at home either.
Do you have any new plans on the horizon...anything special you are praying for. "SEE" you in the New Year!!!!